Working Moms Roundtable: Encouragement for New Working Moms
Originally published on Collin County Moms
Collin County Moms Blog recruited a great mix of mothers who work full-time, part-time, or from home, and asked bunch of questions on their thoughts and feelings about the mythical phrase we all love to hate and hate to love, “Work-Life Balance.” Each post focuses on a specific theme related to balance at home, at work, with our partners, with our kids, and with our coworkers. We hope you’ll enjoy and maybe even grab some tips or encouragement for yourself! See the first post here, the second post here, the third post here, the fourth post here, and the fifth post here.
What encouragement would you give a new mom who was returning to work?
“This too shall pass. The pain, guilt, fear, anxiety – they all subside. They will never go away, but it will subside.”
“Drop kiddo off (at daycare, in-home care, etc.) a day or two before you go back to work so you can periodically go in to nurse (if relevant), check up on how s/he’s doing, and handle any emotions before you’re back at work. Then go get a massage, go to a coffee shop, walk around the grocery store alone — anything to recharge your batteries before your first day back! You got this!”
“The first few days are really hard, but it gets better. I feel like I am “me” again. Getting back into work has helped me be a better mom, because I can be more patient at home. Having a “break” at work is good for my mental health!”
“The transition will be much harder on you than your child; children are incredibly adaptable and resilient. Every mother’s story is different, follow your gut and do what works best for your family. The perfect mom does NOT exist. Social media is a way for people to only show the good, and you better believe that is not reality. Short cuts are everything!”
“It is hard, no doubt. It is ok to cry the first time you leave your child and to worry incessantly about your choice. It’s OK. It is also ok to change your mind if you can. Find a sitter who will send you updates and pictures to help manage those first few days. Remember that you are helping to provide a better life for your child and yourself. You can simultaneously feel bad that you are leaving her/him but also rejoice in adult conversations and a break. Also: coffee is essential to life.”
“I would tell her that going to work does NOT affect your relationship with your child. They still love you, they still need you, but they are okay while you’re at work, too. I would tell her that it gets easier, and to focus on how your job benefits your family.”
“That it is going to be hard; you will have days, weeks, and even months when you feel you are doing everything wrong and that you are failing everyone around you, but keep pushing on and you will find your groove. Once you have kids, the work life you had before is not going to be the same, and if you try to be the person you were in your career prior to kids, you will be unhappy. Goals and priorities will need to change, and this does not mean that your goals before were better or worse, just different. You are completely different now, with different needs and priorities and you will have to work and be flexible to find what best fits your needs as a mom and a working woman. What works for one person may not be something that you want or can do. Be flexible, don’t give up, and enjoy being a mom; it’s priceless!”
“Believe in yourself, and get support from your partner as you need. You don’t have to be perfect at all times. Enjoy work and home; don’t stress about small things that crop up.”